14 November 2017

Day 24: Retreat

I'm writing Ann Dee Ellis' 8 Minute Memoirs in place of #NaNoWriMo.

There are these moments when it feels like I'm standing on a battlefield without any weapons and I take a good look at the enemies across from me. Sometimes the enemies are my own depression and fears, sometimes they are papers to grade, and yet other times they're actual people I see standing out there, opposing me.

Whatever (or whoever) stands there as I hopelessly face the expanse as the enemies approach slowly, and I have no choice. I have to retreat.

Usually my retreat of choice is the movie Ever After. Something about Drew Barrymore's less-than-perfect accent and absolutely-perfect stubbornness as she falls in love with a prince and faces off with her stepmother just envelop me in a sea of calm.

Other times my retreat is a bit more literal. I go on a long drive or a vacation, occasionally sending in an emergency backup to handle a day or two or the battle while I try to breathe. I sleep a little more than usual, refocus my efforts, gather up the appropriate weaponry, and prepare myself for the inevitable return.

Eventually, whatever the problem is, I go back to the battlefield, probably with a Coke in hand (because life is a commercial), and face the other side.

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